Hi Friends,
I’m curious, what comes to mind when you think of Flying Monkeys?
The Wicked Witch of the West
Gigantic swooping rats
A nightmare in general
All the above
Have you ever heard of flying monkeys?
Remember the wicked witch of the west’s winged monkeys (a/k/a flying monkeys) in the Wizard of Oz ? Those stinkers enabled the wicked witch by (among other things):
Seizing territory for her
Keeping the Wizard of Oz away from her castle
Capturing Dorothy and attacking her friends
Today, popular psychology describes a flying monkey as:
An enabler of a highly narcissistic person or someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
In other words, a flying monkey is an agent who acts on behalf of someone on the extreme side of the narcissistic perspective.
Every human being on earth has narcissism in them to some degree.
BusinessInsider.com says:
"We all fall somewhere along the narcissism continuum. In fact, a certain amount of self-centeredness is healthy. Research shows that it contributes to confidence, resilience, and ambtion. However, any personality trait taken to an extreme can become pathological."
There is such a thing as “healthy narcissism," which is the realm that most people fall under. Psychology Today sums healthy vs. unhealthy narcissism up with:
"So, what it all boils down to is that unhealthy narcissism, whether on a personal or tribal level, involves a fundamentally disparaging—sometimes even scornful—orientation toward others. On the contrary, healthy narcissism stops well short of this interpersonal offensiveness, though even here the qualities exhibited aren’t particularly admirable."
The far end of the spectrum is the side that enlists flying monkeys to do dirty work. Flying monkey leaders at the extreme end of NPD are die-hard, clinical narcissists. I call them supreME’s because they are supreme above everyone in their minds. But, supreMEs mustn’t do their own dirty work lest their fragile, insecure nature be exposed.
Flying monkeys understand that their job is to do dirty deeds (gas lighting, deceiving, sneering, etc.) for supreME. Doing these deeds is crucial for them to please and stay on the good side of supreME. Eventually, though, flying monkeys hope to fill supreME’s lofty shoes as their own ruler-in-chief supreME.
To be a flying monkey, you too, must lack empathy, fancy bullying, crave attention and seek to manipulate a core group of your own.
But wait. What about the scapegoat(s)? The ones that provide energy and fuel to the triangulating group in the first place. The ones that deep down supreME and the flying monkeys ache to emulate and be themself. The ones that know and ultimately expose the dysfunctional dynamics.
Like it or not, there are typically two or three people who know what supreME and his/her flying monkeys are doing: the scapegoats. The scapegoats are scapegoated for greed, jealousy and dreams of power that live inside supreME and their flying monkeys. The scapegoat(s) possess attributes that supreME desires, the motivation.
One of the flying monkeys most crucial [unspoken] rules is to prevent the scapegoat from exposing supreME. Doing so gives flying monkeys a job for many years. They work diligently at preventing scapegoats from exposing supreME out of fear of ostracization from the group themselves.
What they don’t realize is that the sooner they are ostracized, the sooner they can build their own manipulation empire of fear.
Unfortunately, like rats living here and there unnoticed, flying monkeys are among us too.
There is hope though. Stop feeding them. Clean out your closet. Close points of entry (fear, insecurity). Put your faith and trust where it matters. Where Truth and promise lies (God). Not deceit, fear and lies (NPD).
Thank you for reading!
Love, Shelley
If you're asking yourself, "why is she writing about flying monkeys?" The topic seems to come up more and more frequently. That's all.